Jolly Boys and Girls

Dalriada · Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 1:48 am Post subject: Jokes

Come on let us know what people have said that made you laugh. Priceless and funny is the topic. The best will be rewarded.

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Baronet of Barnstaple
The Journey Continues

Apocalypse · Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 2:33 am Post subject: Really?

What's the reward?

I think u must own all the funny comment awards

Just gotta a/ catch u online and b/ in the right mood

Then its laugh a minute time

Dalriada · Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 3:05 am Post subject: Rewards

I'm still coming up with them. But there will be special ranks.

Dal
_________________

Baronet of Barnstaple
The Journey Continues

Apocalypse · Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 10:50 pm Post subject: To begin with.........

Your comment on Welcome topic is a classic d&d style quip (see below)

"Lets all have fun together.

Ok not that much fun though."

Also when we sat and went through names we had a laugh

For example guy called Ultimate Archers - so "ultimate" had 0% attack - well done to him

Also Thinking Nation - u said something about him thinking about moving but thinking better of it

Man that's a lot of thinking

Anyway will add more when remember or u say more

Dalriada · Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 12:15 am Post subject: Broze

Well I think I'll have to award meself a bronze then. Come on people challange me for me bronze.

_________________

Baronet of Barnstaple
The Journey Continues

AIsafe · Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 3:06 am Post subject:

1 for the Ladies here.

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One day my houseworked-challenged Husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds later after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me. "What setting do I put on the Washing Machine" ? "It Depends," I replied." What does it say on your shirt" , He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma".. . .... .

And they say blondes are Dumb. . . .!
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While I was going up the stairs, I met A man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today, I wish I wish he'd go away.

Dalriada

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office.....but she belonged to someone else...
One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give
you a £100 if you let me have you....but the girl said NO. Johnny said I'll
be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be
finished by the time you pick it up. She thought for a moment and said that
she would have to consult her boyfriend.....so she called her boyfriend and
told him the story. Her boyfriend says ask him for £200, pick up the money
very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down. So she agrees and
accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for
his girlfriend to call.

Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened......
She said "The bastard used coins"

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in it's entirety
before agreeing to it and getting screwed !
_________________

Baronet of Barnstaple
The Journey Continues

Dalriada · Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:50 am Post subject: The Koala and the Little Lizard

A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says "Hey Koala ! what are you doing?"

The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.

After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"

So the koala looks down at him and says

"Fucccccccccck dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"
_________________

Baronet of Barnstaple
The Journey Continues

AIsafe · Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:58 am Post subject:

I love the coin one, it was inter office communication where I work, Good stuff.
_________________
While I was going up the stairs, I met A man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today, I wish I wish he'd go away.

Dalriada · Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:01 am Post subject:

Guest · Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:49 am Post subject:

A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar.
They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.

Then the Scotsman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"

The others agree that sounds like a good place.

Then the American says, "Yeah,that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink."

Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.

Then the Irishman says, "You think that's great? Where I come from in Dublin, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"

"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"

"No," replies the Irish guy, "but it happened to me sister!"

Guest · Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:52 am Post subject:

This hippie walks into a bar, and thinks it's a restaurant. He walks up to the counter, and says to the barkeep, "I want a hot dog, not too hot, not too cold, but in the groove."

So the barkeep walks into the back room, and tells this to the manager, who is in a bad mood. The manager says, "Well, give him whatever he wants, then get him out of here."

The barkeep heads back into the main room, posing as a waiter. "Anything else," he questions. The hippie replies, "Yeah, I want a milkshake, not too thick, not too thin, but in the groove."

Again, the barkeep relays this to his manager, who is getting more frusterated as the night goes on. He yells, "Fine, I already told you, give him what he wants and get him out of here!"

So the barkeep returns to the hippie. "That was a hot dog and a milkshake, right?" "Yeah," the hippie says, "but scratch the hot dog. I want a hamburger, not to rare, not too well-done, but in the groove."

The barkeep relays this to the manager, who has finally had enough. He storms out of the back room, and bellows at the hippie.

"You can kiss my ass! Not on the left cheek, and not on the right cheek, but in the groove!!"

Dalriada · Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 3:02 am Post subject:

Sand Man you getting my bronze at least for that first one I'll also get you a

Dal

_________________

Baronet of Barnstaple
The Journey Continues

Guest · Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 11:57 pm Post subject:

You can keep the metal but ill take the beer cheers

editor · Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 8:56 pm Post subject: Idiot Awards

Number One Idiot of 2006

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would
be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and
at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room
right away.

Here's your award, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
A life raft from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your award, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
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Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch
and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
To worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo
Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
America deposit Slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's award. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
Measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
Another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $40.

Smart , But you still get an award.

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Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and
she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs an award!
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Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve an award.
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Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.
The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, Here's your award.

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I'm only here to edit.